My blog is my journal.
A year and a half ago, I was living out of my car and sleeping on my friend Nina's couch (after my Aunt M and her daughter illegally evicted me) for a month. One night Nina and I decided to go to the bar. I was suppose to meet up at the bar with a guy I had just started talking to a few days before, and I was nervous, so I walked around the block about five times before walking into the bar.
I met up with Nina, because she left her place before I was ready to leave and met up with a guy she was trying to hook up with. The guy she was hanging out with kept buying the two of us drinks and shots all night while we played darts with him. Nina pulled me to the side and said she called dibs on him. As the night went on I figured out the guy I was suppose to meet up with wasn't gonna show, and I was so drunk at that point I didn't care.
I ended up sitting outside the back of the bar talking to the guy Nina called dibs on, when this guy (my current guy, Dave) walked through the gate and started talking to us. I had a bud light in one hand and a captain and coke in the other, and when Dave said he needed a drink so I offered him both of mine since I was wasted, he drank the bud light while we talked and I drank the captain and coke. The guy Nina was trying to get with asked me to go home with him, and I told him "Nina called dibs, so no" he said he had been trying to get with Nina for years but I kept saying "No" and then went inside the bar with Dave.
We started playing pool, but I was so drunk I couldn't see straight, so I sat down and refused to play anymore. He and I went back outside behind the bar and talked about how I was sleeping at Nina's and how loud it was there because her two kids, little sister, and her little sister's boyfriend were living with her. Shortly after that I felt sick so I put my head on his lap and he rubbed my back while some girls he knew were trying to talk to him, one of them said "Leave him alone, he's making-out" I lifted my head up just long enough to say, "We're not making out, I think I'm gonna puke!" then flopped my head back down on his lap.
Some how that turned into us actually making out and cuddling on the picnic table we had been sitting on. After everyone had left and the bar had closed he drove me to Nina's on the back of his motorcycle so I could change my shirt, put on a sweater and we went for a ride into a cornfield, laid on the ground, and looked up at the starts for hours. We rode back to Nina's and cuddled on the living room floor till we fell asleep. The next morning he gave me his number before leaving for work. Two weeks into us hanging out and spending every night together, he asked me if I'ld like to just stay with him instead of going back to Nina's, and I already had all my things at his place so I said I'ld like to stay.
After the weather got cold, he started working on the road and was gone for weeks at a time, leaving me alone and not knowing anyone in this area. I spent the entire time he was gone cleaning this place from ceiling to floor, just to find out when he got back that he cheated on me with a 16 year old! It was our eight month anniversary and I was reading the messages on his phone and saw a message in his inbox saying "Hey baby :)" so I looked at his out box on his phone and saw his side of the conversation: "My gf is controlling I wish I could have both" "I have a gf so we would have to go somewhere else to be together" "o o o yeah" and I was PISSED!
The thing that freaked me out the most was how I had a dream about him cheating on me a few days before and in the dream he said while he was fucking some chick "o o o yeah"... Creepy, huh? When I confronted him after reading his phone he had tears in his eyes and was telling me how he was scared of losing me, blah blah blah. I messaged the 16 year old from my phone telling her how he's 11 years older than her, and how she needed to find someone her own age, to which she came back with "I already have someone" and my reply was then you're a bigger whore than I thought! I cryed myself to sleep that night, and everytime he touched me I pulled away and felt like I was gonna be sick, so I would hop out of bed and run to the toilet.
Since then it's just gotten worse, and I had another dream like the last only it was a different girl and a different room of the house, and guess what, a few days later I saw a message to his ex in his outbox saying how he misses her, so what am I suppose to think? Once a cheater, always a cheater! I don't trust him because of this and how every time I talk to him about the same thing I get a different answer, can you blame me?
I've decided as soon as it's possible I'm leaving him, I would have that night eight months ago if I had anywhere to go but thanks to my license being expired, my warrent for not making it to my court date or being able to pay off my fines, I'm stuck here (I literally JUST got off the phone, I just got hired to ride horses all day and clean out barns! I'm SO EFFING EXCITED!!! I START ON TUESDAY!) so as soon as I have the money to, I'm moving back to Denver!